Book Review - The Coaching Habit - Say Less Ask More and Change the Way You Lead Forever by Michael Bungay Stanier
READ: 2 mins
REVIEWER: Robert Craven
AUTHOR: Michael Bungay Stanier
I love this book.
It is simple yet elegant.
It is short. It is to the point.
It offers enough background and enough of the science to convince you, without you needing to pull out the dictionary to look up clever clogs words and phrases.
It is not full of hippy-dippy personal coaching psychobabble. It gets to the point and is hugely actionable.
It explains why, as a leader, you need to be able to coach. It explains how to do it.
Seeing the author introduce the book is useful and adds a bit more perspective: https://youtu.be/X_yWYK9ngP4
So here are the questions that make all the difference:
Get straight to the point in any conversation with the Kickstart Question
“What’s on your mind?”
Stay on track during any interaction with the Awe Question
“And what else…?”
Get to the heart of any interpersonal or external challenge with the Focus Question
“What’s the real challenge?”
Get to the heart, again, with the Foundation Question
“What do you want from me?”
Save hours for yourself with the Lazy Question
“How can I help?”
Save time for them with the Strategic Question
“If you are saying ‘yes’ to this, what are you saying ‘no’ to?”
Finally, reflection and the Learning Question
“What was most useful to you?”
Some great quotes from the book:
"To build an effective new habit, you need five essential components: a reason, a trigger, a micro-habit, effective practice, and a plan."
"Coaching for development is about turning the focus from the issue to the person dealing with the issue, the person who's managing the fire."
"Even though we don't really know what the issue is, we're quite sure we've got the answer they need."
Finally, the book has an amazing list of testimonials:
‘Michael Bungay Stanier distils the essentials of coaching to seven core questions. And if you master his simple yet profound technique, you’ll get a two-fer. You’ll provide more effective support to your employees and co-workers. And you may find that you become the ultimate coach for yourself.’
―Daniel H. Pink, author of To Sell Is Human and Drive
‘Coaching is an art, and it’s far easier said than done. It takes courage to ask a question rather than offer up advice, provide an answer or unleash a solution. Giving another person the opportunity to find their own way, make their own mistakes and create their own wisdom is both brave and vulnerable. It can also mean unlearning our ‘fix it’ habits. In this practical and inspiring book, Michael shares seven transformative questions that can make a difference in how we lead and support. And he guides us through the tricky part: how to take this new information and turn it into habits and a daily practice.’
―Brené Brown, author of Rising Strong and Daring Greatly
‘What can you do to become a better leader? Michael asks and answers this question by offering aspiring leaders seven thoughtful questions that will change their leadership habits. This book is full of practical, useful and interesting questions, ideas and tools that will guide any leader trying to be better.’
―Dave Ulrich, co-author of The Why of Work and The Leadership Code